


Point and Blade

by imprimatur13



Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Tsukihime
Genre: Arihiko best girl, Crack, Humor, Multi, Nonsense, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-15 00:12:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19284115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imprimatur13/pseuds/imprimatur13
Summary: I had to write something so I wrote this. Enjoy.





	Point and Blade

The flash. It was like lightning. It seared my eyes, erasing the old afterimages.

Where am I?

I looked. I opened my eyes, and saw the form of the blonde woman before me.

Arcueid?

No, this wasn't her. Arcueid would never wear armor like that.

She speaks, and her voice is like the honey that rolls from the bees in the summer. "I ask of thee, art thou my Master?"

What is she talking about? I've never even met her. Besides, I hate to be addressed like that.

"Hold on, I don't even know who you are. And don't call me your master; my name is Shiki. Tohno Shiki."

She tilted her head to the side. Her flashing armor reflected the hopes of mankind in its light, and I could see no lines on it. It was like the crystallization of my love, and I felt a surging desire for it.

"I am the Servant Saber. I have come in response to thy summons."

I didn't summon you.

"But lo! upon thine hand, are there not marks?"

I looked at my right hand, and saw that there were red sigils on the back of it. When did those get there...

"There are, yes, but--"

She nodded. "So thou'rt my Master. What are thine orders, Master?"

Her eyes were quiet after she spoke. She really wanted to hear what I had to say.

All right. I'll give her an order. "Tell me who you are and where you came from."

"I cannot, Master."

What?!? "Idiot! You wanted my orders. So why don't you listen?"

She came down to where I lay on the ground, and faced outward. Her metal armor pressed against me, and I could feel its cold heat on my skin. It drew my spirit from me, and then I saw that in her steel-gloved hands was a faint shimmer.

I wanted to reach out and touch it. It entranced me, and I knew I wanted it.

But she stopped me. I couldn't reach out and grab it, not with her there. I couldn't get my hands on the thing she carried.

I tried reaching around her arm, but I was swiftly pushed back.

"Do not move, Master! The enemy waits."

Enemy?

"The Lancer Servant. I have only just saved your life from his strike, and even now he desires your heart."

This woman was clearly crazy. Or, she must be crazy, to say that stuff, but... why did I want her so much. Why did I need to hold that thing, that invisible thing in her hands.

"Look, I don't know where you're from and you seem crazy. I'm not that big of an idiot that I'd believe anything someone tells me, so be truthful with me. Who else is here? And what are you holding in your hand?"

The woman cleared her throat. "Master, thou seemest not to understand, so I shall explain matters as simply as possible."

That's all I asked for.

"There is an assailant carrying a spear here. He aims to take thy life by piercing thine heart, and it is only I who can protect thee. Please allow me to do so, I beg of thee."

Well, I guess I have to. I'd be a real ass if I denied her this.

"Ok. Do what you have to."

I heard her smile. The lines on the back of her head, covering her blonde hair reconfigured themselves. They all focused on a single point at the top of her head, from which a single lock of hair stood above the rest. Like an engorged sexual organ, it towered above the world around it. A single solitary sign of defiance against the outside world.

She stood up, and the air in the room swam. There was a great noise, like a typhoon. Wind swirled around her, and with it the wind dragged endless specks of light. The light came from everywhere, even from inside me. I felt like a part of my soul was stolen, but I didn't mind. I knew I was inside her, and I was happy.

The object in her hand shimmered. It began to glow.

All the light was drawn into her body through that beautiful silver armor, turning it gold. It then moved from her, through her arms, and into the thing she held.

A hilt appeared. A pommel. And then, adorned by the blue and gold surrounding it, the most beautiful blade I had ever seen.

It was steel, but the light turned it gold. It shone with all our hopes, like I shared within the great unconscious mass of humanity. I and they and they and I were all one, and we were all channeled through her sword.

I could see her smile. She grinned with the full appreciation of raw power, solid in her possession of the right of the King to redeem her people.

I was in awe.

I wanted to go down on my knees and worship her. I wanted to give myself over to her. My own life felt so insignificant. I wanted to throw it away in her honor, in her service.

I wanted to die to the blow of that sword.

"LANCER!"

She shouted. The power in her voice threatened to shake the house to the ground, and crack the earth. My eardrums nearly burst.

"SHOW THYSELF!"

A smirk in the shadows.

"I thought you'd never ask."

A blue form fell from the ceiling above, and landed on the blonde woman.

In his hand he held a spear of deepest red. Red, the color I hate. I hate it so, I hate this man.

"Servant, please kill him. I hate his red," I think to myself. I feel like she must sense my thoughts, since my light is still within her.

I feel a great surging of assurance, like I am safe and secure. I feel like the blade stands over me, protecting me from all outside attack.

The spear and the sword clash.

The two of them are entangled in a great mass of violence, like two squids battling to the death.

"I will be victorious, Saber."

The blue man with the red spear says this, without any justification.

"Why sayest thou this, Lancer?"

She continues to rain blows down on him, not stopping to breathe.

"Because I already have Shiki's heart."

What.

He says--

He says this--

completely unreasonable thing.

"What are you talking about," I said. "I haven't met you either, but unlike her, I hate you."

What sort of idiot would say something like that, like what he said?

"Come on, Shiki."

He jumps to the roof, and holds the blonde woman off with the point of his spear.

"Don't you recognize me?"

He says this, and points his face at me.

I know that face.

Whose face is that?

I... I can't remember. I can't remember anything.

Why can't I?

I hate this.

"It's me, your one true love."

I raise my fist at him.

"You're not Akiha!"

"Screw Akiha! Wait, fuck, I mean-- don't touch your sister, Shiki."

"Look, I can't stand this anymore. Just tell me who the hell you are, so I can get some sense in this world!"

He jumped down.

A flash of red in my eyes.

His body was right against mine, and I could feel his animal breath.

His red hair.

It brought a recollection to mind.

An old classroom.

Food.

An annoying voice...

"Have you realized who I am?"

"Arihiko."

Who else could it be.

I hate him so much, it only makes sense.

"That's right!"

He gives me a slap on the back.

Unfortunately, he's not just a student anymore.

The force from the slap pushes me against the tip of his spear. It penetrates my heart.

Pain. Painpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpainpain.

Blood fills my vision.

"Listen, Shiki."

His voice fills my fading mind. My consciousness soaks it up, as it slowly disintegrates.

"I have pierced you with my Gay Bulge. Your very essence of straightness has been reversed, and you will never lust after women -- or your sister! -- again."

What. What is he saying? I... I can't...

"You will only ever want me. Your buddy, your pal... your lover."

A feeling of warmth comes over my body.

Yes. Maybe this isn't so bad. Dying in his arms, with him inside me... 

Maybe this is what is called 'happiness.'

I quietly go down into the depths.

There is--

no more. 

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly Arihiko always reminded me of Cu.


End file.
